The CrossRoads Journal

Trusting God

Loving God, Self, and Others: We accept that we have no control over the illness or the individual with the illness.  We only have control over our own actions and thoughts.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
Proverbs 3:5

As we are approaching Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d combine both love and trust in my devotional this month.

My maternal Grandmother was my first experience with unrelenting, unconditional love.  Although my parents were also loving, they were distracted by health issues and life that consumed them.  As I was the oldest girl of 8 children, Grandma often brought me and my friends home with her, to help out my Mom.  All my life, every time I visited her, she would exclaim “Look who it is, Patty’s here!”  Now I did not do anything special to cause this love, but she loved me and spent time with me.  No matter what we did (bus trips for adventure, hanging out at her house, etc.) she always acted like she was glad I was there.  We remained fast friends through my 30s.  When she turned about 85, she developed dementia from small strokes, and probably Alzheimer’s.  She began accusing my Grandpa of affairs and hiding knives.  We worried that she might harm herself or others as she was somewhat ‘psychotic’ in her behavior.  Because of this, she was admitted to a nursing home. When I went to visit her, I was heartbroken when she said to me “Patty, I thought I could always count on you to care for me.  Please take me home.”  I responded that I loved her and she needed to stay there for the care she needed.  I went out to my car as I left, and cried, asking God what I should do.  I did love my Grandma and yet I was also responsible for 2 small children and a husband so I could not devote the time to my Grandma for the constant supervision she was requiring.  I left broken hearted and told my Husband about this situation. He reiterated that it was not possible to care for her at our home at this time which I realized but was not accepting.  That night I went to bed again asking God to show me what I could do.

Well, in the morning I received a call.  My Grandmother had passed away suddenly!

She was now out of her misery and I felt that the Lord was truly providing the care my Grandma deserved and needed in a loving home, her heavenly home.  I felt that God had heard my prayers and provided the resolution to this painful situation.  I was sad that my Grandma was gone but relieved that she was not confused or misunderstanding how much we loved and cared about her.

When I prayed the day before that God show me what I could do, I did not really think that there was another solution besides the nursing home or my home.  But God had her home ready for her and provided the perfect place.  I am grateful that God’s timing and care were evident.  I learned that even when things look ‘hopeless’, God was watching and hears our prayers.  He is trustworthy, even in the resolution of ‘what to do.’ I learned that praying can be just the thing “to do’ and I can trust God to hear,  care, and open doors to other options we may not be aware.

Have you ever trusted God with a situation and seen Him respond?